


Never a Lender

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Canon Het Relationship, F/M, Korean War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24441448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: Margaret asks to borrow money from Frank. She should really know better.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Frank Burns/Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	Never a Lender

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "miserly" for Get Your Words Out Yahtzee prompt set #8 (last one!).

"Frank," Margaret said, entering the Swamp in a sweet-smelling cloud. Hawkeye inhaled, closing his eyes and smiling.

"It's refreshing to smell something so pretty, Margaret," he said. Trapper laughed, leaning back in his bunk. Frank scowled at them both, then grasped Margaret's hand.

"What is it, Major?" Frank asked, smiling without lips. Hawkeye didn't understand how he managed it—or why Margaret found him so appealing.

"You could have either one of us, Margaret," Hawkeye said. "Why shack up with the lipless wonder?"

"Mind your own business, Pierce," she said, before gazing raptly into Frank's eyes. "Frank, a girlfriend of mine since high school is having baby shower. I want to send her a gift, but my scrip is almost exhausted for this month. Can I borrow about two hundred dollars?"

"Now, now, Margaret," Frank said, brushing her hair back, as if he'd forgotten Hawkeye and Trapper were still in the Swamp, watching with avid interest. "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, Margaret."

"Frank, I know your latest investment in the stock market was profitable. I also know about your house and flourishing private practice. You can afford it, and I'll pay you back in three days."

"No, I'm sorry, Margaret," Frank said, though he didn't look apologetic in the least. "A man has to watch his pennies or soon they'll be gone. And I'm not made of pennies, Margaret."

"Frank!" she cried. "Would you begrudge your _wife_?"

"I wouldn't lend—or give—two hundred dollars to anyone, Margaret." Frank sniffed and dropped her hands. "Any money my wife has is solely because she _is_ my wife. Though, even my wife only gets a small allowance."

"Fine. I want the equivalent of your wife's allowance, Frank, or I'll just have to assume you don't lo—" she suddenly must have remembered Hawkeye and Trapper, because she muzzled those words and said instead, "You don't have a heart."

"My wife only gets twenty dollars a month," Frank said with hauteur. "And you can't borrow that either, sorry." He went and picked up his Bible, sat down on his bunk. Margaret huffed, stomping to the door.

" _Really,_ Frank!" she said, and left in a snit.

"He really is something," Hawkeye said, opening a nudist magazine.

"He sure is," Trapper concurred, as they regarded Frank, who was reading with determination, obviously uncaring of just how he appeared.


End file.
